Post by Deleted on Jul 7, 2016 11:37:19 GMT -5
Ok. First off, I'm on medical leave, which is why I've posted a lot in the last 30 days. Leave mostly for medical treatment, becasue my fucking workplace sucks ass, and if you've followed my early threads, you'll know why, so I won't belabor the issues I've made before.
This site is surprisingly therapeutic to me, more so that I thought it would be. Since the thread "Straight Edge" I've re-evaluated my habits. I used to be a champion runner and swimmer. I was very active. I was pretty tough and strong and handsome, but I'm almost 40 and I lost my fire somewhat in the last few years due to aforementioned issues.
Alos my cousin went out behind an accidental overdose last year. I was very close to him as a child and within the last five years we connected again. Our families are filled with assholes-- we were the only artists and free-thinkers, so we were on our own as black sheep.
I was helping him somewhat with his eating habits and his drug habits, both illicit and Rx, but I sorta enabled him with the drinking. He wasn't going to quit cold turkey, so I was trying to wean him off drugs to alcohol exclusively.
I didn't have the skills to save him. He was also a grown adult who made his own decisions. So I should not blame myself, but sometimes I do.
I deep-sixed myself behind alcohol after his death. Fuck work, fuck everything else. I got a little fat, somewhat wrinkly in the face, and looked cashed-out. Lost my looks a bit. I grew a beard. I didn't give a fuck. I figured I wasn't gonna last the year, either through car accident, cirrhosis, or something stupid would happen.
However, I've decided that I would detox myself after reading the comments here. For three days I've drank that liver cleansing tea, a bunch of water, and stopped drinking. So far i can already tell the regimen works. I've made six and eleven mile humps like I did when i was younger and I did fantastic.
I just wanted to point it out.
This site is surprisingly therapeutic to me, more so that I thought it would be. Since the thread "Straight Edge" I've re-evaluated my habits. I used to be a champion runner and swimmer. I was very active. I was pretty tough and strong and handsome, but I'm almost 40 and I lost my fire somewhat in the last few years due to aforementioned issues.
Alos my cousin went out behind an accidental overdose last year. I was very close to him as a child and within the last five years we connected again. Our families are filled with assholes-- we were the only artists and free-thinkers, so we were on our own as black sheep.
I was helping him somewhat with his eating habits and his drug habits, both illicit and Rx, but I sorta enabled him with the drinking. He wasn't going to quit cold turkey, so I was trying to wean him off drugs to alcohol exclusively.
I didn't have the skills to save him. He was also a grown adult who made his own decisions. So I should not blame myself, but sometimes I do.
I deep-sixed myself behind alcohol after his death. Fuck work, fuck everything else. I got a little fat, somewhat wrinkly in the face, and looked cashed-out. Lost my looks a bit. I grew a beard. I didn't give a fuck. I figured I wasn't gonna last the year, either through car accident, cirrhosis, or something stupid would happen.
However, I've decided that I would detox myself after reading the comments here. For three days I've drank that liver cleansing tea, a bunch of water, and stopped drinking. So far i can already tell the regimen works. I've made six and eleven mile humps like I did when i was younger and I did fantastic.
I just wanted to point it out.
)