I have a Lorne in my life.
Feb 3, 2023 3:16:31 GMT -5
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edmonddantes, stinkbug, and 14 more like this
Post by griffith on Feb 3, 2023 3:16:31 GMT -5
My uncle, ironically.
When I was 14, I moved to the city where most of my extended family lived. I was a pretty bitter kid, and went to a large, highly competitive school. I didn’t make friends easily because I was standoffish and traumatized. So I became friends with my maternal uncle, a single 40-something year old loser with no degree, no real job, and no maturity. As a 14 year old, his constant gifts and the fact he could drive me around a large sprawling city appealed to me. He took me to museums (which he pretended to enjoy) and bought me concert tickets on the fly. I just thought he was generous. Nah, he was just a creep.
By 16, I already felt too mature for him. He was stupid, annoying, needy, and weirdly jealous of my male friends after I finally made friends. He would mock me when I talked on the phone to one of my male friends, and the gifts became daily packages on my doorstep from Amazon of things I didn’t want or like. Things loosely related to stuff I mentioned in passing. I was coagulating random shit he couldn’t even afford. And the texts, man. Just like Jamie with Lorne… A constant deluge of attention and neediness, paragraphs at a time that I barely responded to. He made a tumblr just to follow mine without me knowing it was him. I posted a pretty personal paragraph about coming to terms with the CSA I experienced at the hands of my grandfather (his father), and said I wanted to share it with only a few friends of mine that I trusted soon, but that posting it online for the first time was the first step to get it off my chest. He showed up at my house, and instead of asking me about his own father abusing me, supporting me, or comforting me, he asked me why “I wanted to tell Greg about it.” (The only male friend I had listed on that post I wanted to share it with.)
By 17, I was at college and finally got away from him. He still sent letters and texts that I barely read. Then, when visiting home one summer, he came home and stroked my thigh. I freaked out, grabbed his wrist, and told him if he ever touched me again I’d make him regret it. Later that day, I snagged and went through his phone to see if there was anything I could find. I knew he was creepy and jealous but I didn’t comprehend it went beyond friendship/insecurity.
Hundreds of creepshots of me were in his photo album. All the way back from when I was 14.
I’m 24 now and happily have estranged myself from my extended family ever since.
When I was listening to a Lorne call today, he imitated one of his nieces liking her hair brushed. How it “felt good on her head.” Used a cutesy voice and acted like it was adorable.
Something about that set me off. I’ve been listening to Lorne calls for about 3 years now and lurk constantly, and I just needed to share this. Losers like him are a dime a dozen, and having him studied under a microscope is a hilariously familiar insight to the creep that plagued my teenage years. A lot of the most offensive shit to me is more… benign than anything. Fondly talking about his nieces. Being a terrible liar. Acting like spoiling people is positive. Drowning his “girlfriends” in mundane texts no 20-something would give a fuck about.
Creepy uncles are a trope for a reason. Anyway, I don’t know what this post is ultimately about, but I wish there were more insight on his relationship with his nieces, because damn could I unpack that for ages.
When I was 14, I moved to the city where most of my extended family lived. I was a pretty bitter kid, and went to a large, highly competitive school. I didn’t make friends easily because I was standoffish and traumatized. So I became friends with my maternal uncle, a single 40-something year old loser with no degree, no real job, and no maturity. As a 14 year old, his constant gifts and the fact he could drive me around a large sprawling city appealed to me. He took me to museums (which he pretended to enjoy) and bought me concert tickets on the fly. I just thought he was generous. Nah, he was just a creep.
By 16, I already felt too mature for him. He was stupid, annoying, needy, and weirdly jealous of my male friends after I finally made friends. He would mock me when I talked on the phone to one of my male friends, and the gifts became daily packages on my doorstep from Amazon of things I didn’t want or like. Things loosely related to stuff I mentioned in passing. I was coagulating random shit he couldn’t even afford. And the texts, man. Just like Jamie with Lorne… A constant deluge of attention and neediness, paragraphs at a time that I barely responded to. He made a tumblr just to follow mine without me knowing it was him. I posted a pretty personal paragraph about coming to terms with the CSA I experienced at the hands of my grandfather (his father), and said I wanted to share it with only a few friends of mine that I trusted soon, but that posting it online for the first time was the first step to get it off my chest. He showed up at my house, and instead of asking me about his own father abusing me, supporting me, or comforting me, he asked me why “I wanted to tell Greg about it.” (The only male friend I had listed on that post I wanted to share it with.)
By 17, I was at college and finally got away from him. He still sent letters and texts that I barely read. Then, when visiting home one summer, he came home and stroked my thigh. I freaked out, grabbed his wrist, and told him if he ever touched me again I’d make him regret it. Later that day, I snagged and went through his phone to see if there was anything I could find. I knew he was creepy and jealous but I didn’t comprehend it went beyond friendship/insecurity.
Hundreds of creepshots of me were in his photo album. All the way back from when I was 14.
I’m 24 now and happily have estranged myself from my extended family ever since.
When I was listening to a Lorne call today, he imitated one of his nieces liking her hair brushed. How it “felt good on her head.” Used a cutesy voice and acted like it was adorable.
Something about that set me off. I’ve been listening to Lorne calls for about 3 years now and lurk constantly, and I just needed to share this. Losers like him are a dime a dozen, and having him studied under a microscope is a hilariously familiar insight to the creep that plagued my teenage years. A lot of the most offensive shit to me is more… benign than anything. Fondly talking about his nieces. Being a terrible liar. Acting like spoiling people is positive. Drowning his “girlfriends” in mundane texts no 20-something would give a fuck about.
Creepy uncles are a trope for a reason. Anyway, I don’t know what this post is ultimately about, but I wish there were more insight on his relationship with his nieces, because damn could I unpack that for ages.
