Justin’s divorce

I recall seeing the pictures of Crystal's facebook. She is rather large and a typical sack of southern fried goodness. I have a theory that both Dustin and her were social outcasts in high school and kind of fell in together. We've only got to see about a little over an hour of Dustin's life. I'm sure he is rather charming despite looking like a fat Q-tip and walking like a zombie rising from the grave. Here's another thing I noticed. Sometimes people will pursue others who collect disability as if it's some kind of golden egg. Actually anyone collecting any amount of free money from anywhere seems to attract people. Shortly after I retired from the Army I went alone to my 20 year high school reunion. There were a couple of chicks that never game me the time of day back then who approached me and engaged me in conversation and got all excited that I was starting to collect a pension. One of them was like "You know, we should really get together sometime for coffee and catch up." And I thought to myself "Honey, what I get would barely be enough for me to live on. It won't support two." But unlike SSI, I am allowed to work as much as I want to and still receive full pension. Perhaps that's what they were counting on and with that kind of money coming in, they wouldn't have to work. Perhaps Dickstain was already selling Ricky DVDs and getting a cut. I think in one of the calls Dustin was at a flea market selling lotion or something. Might be that Crystal thought between the two incomes she would have herself a crippled sugar daddy. Some people also assume that he drove Crystal off because of his affinity for children. I'm in the minority but I don't think that's quite true. I think she might have gotten tired of living in Mamma's house and existing in Dustin's two rooms allocated to himself. He sounds like a Class A slob if he can lose shit in a computer desk. And he is likely pretty lazy too. I know people with CP that work desk jobs or in a customer contact center My cousin has CP and has a great job with an accounting firm. But Dustin seems like he is the one that prefers to be taken care of and I don't think Crystal could put up with that shit. And maybe Crystal wanted kids too. Dustin tells us that he has low sperm count. Most men who never actively try to have children with their partners ever find out if they have LSC. When we were trying to start a family I had to take the humiliating trip to the Jack Shack to see how many swimmers I had. Did Dustin take the same trip? Did Crystal leave because the Handicap Hero couldn't breed? Or did he just say that to get an opportunity to nut in the young girl he was chatting with? And Crystal may have been bigger and unattractive but she had a vagina and if Dustin closed his eyes she could be anyone he wanted her to be. And perhaps she was one of a kind and there were no more adult ladies willing to give him the time of day like she did. Maybe that's why he tried to pursue an easily manipulated underage girl.

What's wrong with that? It's a pension!

And yes, we do collect our pensions after retirement regardless of age as long as you have completed your 20. However, since it's roughly half your base pay and I retired as an E-6 (it was really hard to make rank in my MOS) it's nawt a whole lawt. To put it in perspective, I believe Chris Chan collects the same amount in SSI that I do in pension. I also get VA comp too for various afflictions to supplement my pension. Together, it's enough for myself to live on but I doubt I could keep a Lorne Level Bud Light and Marlboro habit up without sleeping in a cardboard box. 

who knows why they got married...but I think its pretty clear why they divorced...He was wont'in her ta be shaved ....down'ere...

I heard that the judge awarded her HALF of everything tho....and once that happened, she reached over, grabbed DMacs cane, broke it over her knee and said "here's your half"...


I got mad jokes B

I’ll vouch for that. My buddy just retired from the USCG at 45...after only 20 years service.

That sunnavabetch is now collecting a hefty pension and double dipping at a plant and making over $100k now...he’s single, has toys: jet skis, a boat of course, a brand new truck to tow it all with. Home is 4 years away from paid off and he’s got the pssy on a revolving door. Livin the dream.

Me? I went a different route...so, now I have to go to bed cause I have to work at 6am tomorrow. I shoulda listened.

If it makes you feel better, I'm in the same boat.  No retirement in sight.  I'll have to work until the day I die. I shoulda got a cush gubbitment gig.

Is this Dustin's ex?

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LMAO!!!! Oh, shit, I spilled my wine on this carpet I laughed so hard!!!!!