Lorne the chat lawg.

I got to come, partially, to Lorne's defense on this one. I've, on a few occasions, engaged in chat sex with an actual GF that I knew in real life when we just happened to be away from each other for a bit. I'd hate to think what I'd say if this was read back to me by a third party; it would be pretty embarrassing. I doubt much of it would have mimicked anything remotely close to real sex, it involves asking what she's thinking, bouncing fantasies off each other and asking some perverted questions. The biggest problem, for Lorne (on this account, the fact that he thinks she's 13 is beyond this scope), is that he doesn't have a partner. The decoy never really encourages him in any serious way, so the whole thing is out of place. With a GF, it generally starts with some sappy "I miss you"s and "wish you were here"s and then through mutual co-operation leads to some fucked up shit.

This is one of the reasons the lawg is so unlike the other perverts who got caught up in the trap. Lorne turns the decoy into a romantic partner, complete with responsibility, neediness, future planning and deep feelings.

Whether or not he is a virgin isn't really an answerable question. I don't tend to think that he is. He doesn't strike me as shy enough to have never closed a deal. In a dark karaoke room on a stormy night I'm sure his idiocy could have charmed a bad decision or two; one that was no doubt full regret by the 5th message on the answering machine. As for his vocabulary, it's impossible to divorce that from who he thinks he's talking to. Which is, a girl who has never masturbated, never had a formed sexual thought, never swears, has no interests and may get scared by more extreme phrases.