Lorne’s use of similes and metaphors
Apr 3, 2024 1:56:36 GMT -5
D-Unit, bolofsugah, and 2 more like this
Post by That Fawkin Dawktah on Apr 3, 2024 1:56:36 GMT -5
Does anyone know what he was getting at when he said "if I was a baby, would Nanna want to see me die?" to Rammonah?
I have never been able to figure out what he meant by that or where he was headed with it.
The auld eternal classic. LBA being one of my favourite cawls (typically in edited-down ~2hr format, for Lorne at his most concentratedly moronic), I've puzzled over that one a bit. I think he was being abruptly literal, in the midst of an obviously rhetorical exchange, a jarring dissonance for everyone outside of his own deflating beachball skull.
Lorne generously grants Nana a "fawk" of concern - nearly as magnanimous as a phantom bite of the pawt pie he's basting in his rotten breath - and Ramona rebuffs, saying that at Nana's station in life - a grandmother fifty years older than him, with all that entails - she has no want of some chomo scumbag's regard. Feeling his tiny self threatened, 87 is compelled to go full autistic literal, and avenge Ramona's belittling of his 50-odd years of failure and depravity.
Becawse mnnngnn wayull, *retarded lip-smacking noises* if LORNE were a baby (UNLIKE an old lady), NANA steeyll wouldn't wawnt ta see heeyim die! Don't yew teyll LORNE your elderly grandmother don't care about HEEYIS sappowrt becawse he's younger, wh-when she would mnnnng she would give a fawk reet back ta heeyim even if he were a baby!
(a foolhardy take, imo; ala Baby Hitler, with the instinctive revulsion and hatred Lorne's crimes against children provoke, many would ponder whether a tragically expired Baby Lorne is the lesser of two evils, opposite the repentlessly gluttonous pedophile he grew up to become)
That's about it imo. He idiotically lamps onto the perceived slight against his child-molesting, elderly-scamming, serially drink-driving character, and spergingly declares that age doesn't matter, as long as sh-she's mnnngmm of age. The rhetorical points remain unmoved: nobody gives a shit what Lorne Armstrong thinks of them, but this holds especially true when they've nine decades of other, non-chomo people behind them.
It's the shit-eatingly smug "Yeauh!" he answers Ramona's bewilderment with that really marks the event, for me. And then, the entire tortured inanity is promptly obliterated by Fawkin Dawktah Part MCLMXVIII, never spoken of again. Really completes the sense of a numbskulled enigma wrapped in drunken mystery, authored by a borderline-retarded child molester.